Finding Joy in Everyday Life: Reclaiming Light from a Dark Mind

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” – Henri Nouwen

Joy can feel like a foreign language. And yet, it is our birthright. Joy isn’t just an emotion—it’s a form of resistance. It’s a lifeline. It’s a medicine we can all access.

This article is for everyone—who’s ever felt like joy was out of reach. Whether you’re a man taught to suppress emotion, a woman navigating impossible expectations, a child fighting to belong, or a person of color or LGBTQ+ identity facing systemic oppression, this is your invitation to start finding joy in everyday life. Let’s explore how.

Why Joy Matters for Mental Health

It has taken me a lifetime to truly realize this. Joy is not frivolous. It is a biological and emotional necessity. Studies show that cultivating joy improves immune function, reduces stress hormones, and boosts resilience against anxiety and depression (Fredrickson, 2004).

It also rewires our brains through neuroplasticity—every joyful thought builds new neural pathways, creating more capacity for happiness and healing.

But to truly reclaim joy, we must first understand what stands in the way.

Different Struggles, Shared Humanity,

Men and the Myth of Emotional Stoicism

From a young age, boys are taught: “Don’t cry. Toughen up.” This emotional suppression leads to undiagnosed depression, addiction, and tragically, higher suicide rates. Many men struggle to feel joy because they were never taught how to feel, period.

Path to Joy:

• Reclaim emotional language. Journaling, therapy, or even talking to a trusted friend can help men break emotional isolation.

• Use physical joy. Exercise, woodworking, martial arts, or nature walks can reconnect the body and emotions.

• Laugh. Loudly. Watch comedies, play games, or find a group where laughter is safe and encouraged.

• Give yourself permission to feel. It is time you recognize the negative programming you’ve had since birth. By reclaiming your emotions, good & bad, and communicating them in a meaningful way can reprogram your mind, body & spirit.

Women and the Weight of the World

Women often carry invisible loads: caregiving, emotional labor, societal pressure to be perfect. This constant stress can rob them of spontaneity, rest, and joy.

Path to Joy:

• Schedule “joy time” with zero guilt. A bath, a craft, or even dancing in your kitchen counts.

• Set boundaries. Saying “no” is a radical act of self-love.

• Create sisterhood. Find or build a circle of women who lift each other up.

LGBTQ+ Youth: Searching for Safety & Self

LGBTQ+ children and teens face rejection, bullying, and a lack of representation. The Trevor Project reports that 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide in 2023 alone. For many, joy feels conditional—only possible if they hide who they are.

Path to Joy:

• Create or join safe spaces. Online communities, support groups, or affirming school clubs like GSAs can be lifelines.

• Express freely. Art, writing, drag, fashion—joy thrives in self-expression.

• Find inspiring role models. Celebrate LGBTQ+ icons or local community leaders who found their light and shined it brightly.

Children of Color: Burdens of Identity

Children of non-white backgrounds often face racism, microaggressions, and cultural erasure.

Even joyful expressions like natural hair, language, or food can be targeted in schools or media.

Path to Joy:

• Celebrate culture. Teach children the beauty and strength of their heritage through music, books, art, and storytelling.

• Affirm their identity. Daily affirmations, representation in media, and cultural pride build emotional armor.

• Protect their imagination. Let them play, dream, and believe they are magic.

Practical Tips for Finding Daily Joy

No matter your age, background, or circumstance, here are everyday ways to cultivate joy and strengthen your mental health.

1. Start a Morning Joy Ritual

• Light a candle.

• Sip your favorite tea.

• Write one sentence of gratitude.

• Move your body for 5 minutes.

You don’t need an hour. Just 5 intentional minutes to start your day in light.

2. Create a Joy Playlist

Music is a direct line to your soul. Create playlists for different moods—dance breaks, calming focus, nostalgia. Let music be your therapist.

3. Reclaim the Senses

Touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound can anchor us in the now.

• Use essential oils or incense.

• Take a walk barefoot on grass.

• Bake something warm.

• Watch clouds move.

4. Engage in Micro Acts of Kindness

Kindness is contagious—and deeply joyful.

• Compliment a stranger.

• Leave a note of encouragement.

• Donate one item to someone in need.

5. Let Yourself Be Seen

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy (Brené Brown, 2012).

• Share something honest with a friend.

• Post art you made.

• Say “I’m struggling” when you are.

6. Protect Your Joy Like a Dragon Guards Treasure

• Block toxic content online.

• Say no to energy vampires.

• Rest without apology.

⸻

Joy is a Revolution

To find joy is not to ignore pain—but to resist being consumed by it.

You are allowed to laugh during grief.

You are allowed to dance even while healing.

You are allowed to feel happy even when the world is hard.

Joy is not the opposite of pain—it is the antidote to despair. And it belongs to all of us.

⸻

Resources & References

• Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Phil. Trans. R. Soc. Lond. B.

• The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org

• Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

• Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu

⸻

Final Thought

If you take nothing else from this article, let it be this:

Joy is not something you earn. It is something you choose.

And every small act of joy is a light that helps illuminate the path for someone else in the dark.

So go on. Choose joy today.

Then choose it again tomorrow.

Again. And again. And again.

You deserve it.

⸻

Would you like this formatted as a downloadable PDF or adapted for a podcast episode as well?